Danger! Beware!

As far back as I can remember I’ve been plagued by thoughts of being in danger. I mean life threatening danger. I know, it’s dramatic. Over the top? Well, maybe but then again maybe not. 
I’ve never admitted to having these thoughts to anyone. How odd would I (or do I now) sound? I never met anyone else who’d admit to these kind of thoughts. 
However, they kind of make sense to me now. There have been times in my life where I felt in serious danger. And that fear was real. It wasn’t imagined.
But without speaking of these fears they’ve been allowed to grow. My therapist is gently trying to show me how to handle such intrusive thoughts. They can come into my head at any time. It’s quite disturbing to be honest.
I’m trying to change and challenge these thoughts but finding it tricky. Here’s a typical conversation which takes place in my head at the moment:
Me: I feel anxious and on edge. Someone or something is going to hurt me or my family.
Reason: It’s OK. There’s no reason at all that anything will happen.
Me: yes, but……
Reason: look around you, you’re safe. 
Me: ah, you say that but we both know that things can happen when you’re least expecting them. They can take your breath away, your comfort, your security can disappear.
Reason: Good point, maybe we should raise our awareness levels just in case……
And this is where I get stuck. Experience tells me there are things to fear, reason tells me they won’t necessarily happen. But ‘won’t necessarily’ doesn’t quite cut it for me at the moment.
In an effort to distract my mind I’ve been painting. It works whilst I’m engaged in the activity. The trick is in giving the distraction techniques more longevity.

clent hills, national trust, landscape, watercolour, art, artist, acrylic